She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
