Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
