I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
