You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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