Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
