normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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