In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
