How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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