So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
