I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
