Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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