playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You can't just leave with hair like that
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
