just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
