We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
