told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
