Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
