I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
