3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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