I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
