he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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