nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
