i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
