Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
