That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
All I want is dick and wine.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
