You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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