I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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