omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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