Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
