just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
