why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
