Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
