When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
