Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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