We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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