Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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