you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
