She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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