dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Ladies don't puke and tell
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