I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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