I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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