Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
