I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
