Just cropdusted the office
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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