Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
