My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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