I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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