Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
this will be a night to untag.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
