I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
