I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Who died my cat blue again?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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