His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
