I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
